Don’t you often think: ‘if I had the time, I would… [fill in the blanks with one of the below options].’
b) Go to a spa
c) Have a boozy lunch with friends
d) Go shopping
e) Read a book
f) All of the above
But we never have or make such time. Moreover, we cannot simply walk out of the house because of jobs, pets, kids and/or other people, animals, things to look after.
Drinking a cappuccino alone on a sunny terrace with a good book on your lap can end up feeling like a three-week holiday at a 5-star resort in Bali. And like the latter, it happens just as often (as in: NEVER!)
A friend of mine recently had his birthday. Having planned a family day with wife and kids things came a bit differently as the weather wasn’t good enough to go to the beach. His wife being a very considerate person sent him for a massage and told him to ‘take the day off’, have it totally to himself. And he did. He returned home at the end of the day feeling reborn. Not only did the massage do him good, having no responsibilities, plans or meetings had rejuvenated him.
The considerate wife saw this and immediately instituted this new concept within the family calendar: the Selfie-day.
A Selfie-day is a pre-booked day – once a month, once a week (if you are lucky), or year (if you are unlucky) – where you can walk out of the house in the morning and return in the evening. In-between, the entire day is to be had for oneself, with no demands, errands or chores planned in. Sounds amazing, right?
Yet don’t be fooled. Having a Selfie day sounds easier then it is.
First of all, planning one, especially if you have a family, can be quite tough. Demanding jobs, partners who travel a lot, children’s activities and your day-to-day social calendar can make it a challenge to book these in advance. Make sure you do though because spontaneous Selfie days are very scarce.
Advice: book a Selfie day once a month for the rest of the year. Cancelling (only if it is a matter of life or death) is easier than fitting one in.
The whole point of a Selfie day is to not do anything that you would normally do. Take a good look again at the list above: do you do any of there things on a regular basis? If so, we think you deserve a medal and should start reading one of our other posts instead. If not, read on. Either way, the Selfie day is not about picking up a gift for someone, running errands or making a mandatory family visit. It is a SELFie day; that is, all about you.
The guilt trip no-no
When presented with the possibility of doing something completely for oneself, most people will look like a deer in the headlights. Even me. I would just not know what to do because it is so never an option. And the first thing that comes to mind then tends to be: ‘well, if I have all day, I might as well [fill in the blank here with any chore]’. Or if you do make it to the spa for a facial, you might start feeling guilty for leaving your partner/parents with the kids or your colleagues at the office. Remember, however, that if you do that you are undermining the concept. A guilt trip is simply not allowed on a Selfie day.
#You can‘t do a ‘sort of a Selfie’ day, e.g. a half-day. It is all or nothing
#Don’t cram twenty-five different activities into your day because then you will come home exhausted.#If your phone usually distracts you, turn it off.
#Partners are not allowed to call you with questions like: ‘what shall I feed the kids?’ (Conversely, the Selfie is not allowed to get annoyed if they come home to a dinner consisting solely of chocolate chip cookies and a bag of crisps).
NB. And for those of you who don’t have a family yet: take lots of Selfie days. You have no idea how rare (bordeline extinct) they become later on in life.
So, now it’s time to start planning.
Grab your calendar and book in a few options. Pour your partner a good drink and introduce the concept.
Being selfish on your Selfie day will make you a better person. Really.