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Travel

Travels to Japan | Claire Cooke travels from Abu Dhabi to Tokyo and Kyoto on a family adventure

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Claire Cooke, our Abu Dhabi correspondent, shares her latest travel story to Japan with her husband, Andy, and two daughters.  See her top travel tips below.

Lost in translation…childcare on tour!

The ‘bucket list’

My husband and I had always wanted to travel to Japan. It was most definitely on our “bucket list” and – due to an accumulation of airmiles – we realized we could finally get there.  This would entail the colossal task that every parent knows well of…deep breath…planning travel with the children.

Our honeymoon dreams of losing ourselves in serene temples, walking peacefully through cherry-blossom-laden trees and sampling the finest sushi and sake known to mankind were perhaps no longer 100% realistic (I was forced to admit this as I peeled my toddler away from our neighbour’s dog, who was apparently “Galahad the horse”), but surely we could still consume some Japanese culture. And maybe, just maybe, even have a holiday too!

Holiday research 

After a frustrating and fruitless morning of internet searches on where to stay with children, and how to build a meaningful itinerary in Japan, I was delighted to be recommended a company who could actually help us design and plan our trip. Enter www.uniquejapantours.com, who became our virtual guardian angels and held our hands through the whole process and trip.

As we had already booked our flights, I provided the details and proposed budget for our trip to my new virtual friend, based in Dublin, and one day later a personalised itinerary was emailed to me, complete with airport transfers, local guides, hotels and activity suggestions.  The vast possibilities that Japan offers where thoughtfully honed into an inspiring and achievable plan for the whole family.

Which pushchairs for the two kids?

As our dreams of our trip merged into the admin of room-bookings, rail itineraries and a shortlist of temples, I consulted my friends for advice on what to take for the children.  Interestingly, the common consensus was that a double pushchair would simply not work in Japan, but had I considered a buggy board?

Against the broader background of how we would actually survive in a country where we could not speak the language, and English was a rarity, my overriding concern became the potential burden of our trusty Phil & Teds double pushchair.  Would we regret lugging it to the other side of the world, along with our wet-weather gear, porta-potty, backpacks of familiar snacks, favourite teddies, books, iPads and suncream?

We took a gamble based on our generous amount of luggage allowance, and the fabulous luggage-forwarding service that exists in Japan, which enables travellers to send their bulky luggage on ahead to their accommodation. The double pushchair was coming.

The holiday

Before we flew, a folder arrived from my Dublin-based mentor, containing a wad of pre-booked rail tickets, a very detailed itinerary, local maps, train times, times for dropping off our luggage for forwarding (essential!) and helpful hints for surviving our trip.  This was a precursor to the level of organization that exists in Japan – everything seems to run like clockwork, and certainly a lot more smoothly than other places we’ve had the privilege to visit.

We decided to keep the children on Abu Dhabi time, which worked well throughout the whole holiday, as Japan is 5 hours ahead.  This meant slower starts to the mornings, but the opportunity to stay up a little later and eat dinner as a family. The girls loved the “treat” of going out for “tea in the dark” and I have to admit it worked well as a bribe for encouraging them to try the new food in front of them.

Tokyo Science Museum and a birthday party

On our first day, our guide met us in the hotel reception with balloons, toys and sweets for our girls.  Our 3-year-old’s birthday had not been forgotten, and we were whisked off onto the futuristic metro to Tokyo Science Museum for a fun day out.  Our guide was a lovely lady, local to Tokyo, with years of international experience.  Her fluent English helped smooth out our embarrassing attempts at Japanese, teaching us all about how to ride the metro, navigate the city and understand the local customs.

The Tokyo Science Museum was a real highlight of the trip, and has something for adults and children alike.  The children dissected plastic bodies, rode in a submarine and watched the most amazing robots we have ever seen.  Noodles and blue ice-cream with sprinkles, plus the ability to bounce around and pretend to be puppies (their favourite game) made for an unforgettable birthday for our little one, before heading back to the hotel to sleep off our jet-lag and organise ourselves for the fortnight ahead.

Japan

Japan is an assault on the senses in every way – lights, music, noise, the timbre of the local dialect, the outrageous and stunning fashion sense of everyone around, the sheer speed that everyone and everything moves at.  The first phrase I learned to say pretty quickly was “sumi masen” – the Japanese for “excuse me” – fairly useful for a family of four, with our controversial double pushchair, backpacks and a miniature cast of Disney’s Frozen, which our 3-year-old insisted on taking everywhere with her in her strong little fists.  This useful phrase also doubled up for meaning “sorry” with a bowed head innumerable times a day, after one of the children had stepped on someone’s foot, got in the way of a power-walking city executive, or inserted afore-mentioned Frozen character somewhere they shouldn’t have done.

Japan Rail

Hubby and I adopted a “working holiday” mentality – no sunloungers or spas on this trip – set our alarms, pumped up the tyres of our trusty steed (aka our double pushchair) and embraced the Japanese culture of sightseeing.  Our Japan Rail passes enabled us to travel wherever we liked in Japan during a period of 7 days (the passes are also available to purchase with longer validity), introducing us to the amazing shinkansen (bullet train rail network) which facilitates speeds of up to a maximum of 320 kph (200 mph) so smoothly there are no cup holders in the arms of the chairs.

Cities in Japan

During our holiday, we used the shinkansen to travel between Tokyo, Hakone, Kyoto and Osaka. With children, this was our maximum amount of voyaging, as we were mindful of ensuring that we didn’t spend our entire holiday in transit.  From the stunning cherry-blossom of Kyoto to trendy Osaka, we couldn’t tear our eyes away the visual feast that awaited us around every corner.

We had a truly intoxicating fortnight in Japan – the children loved everything about it, including the food and the different places we stayed.  They adored having an itinerary to follow every day (they were Gina Ford babies and the whole “routine” approach seems to have stuck), and took great interest in learning about the different places we visited.  Role-play opportunities arose frequently – while my husband and I were being shown around a palace in Kyoto, our two little girls were being ninjas, creeping along the “nightingale floor” – so-called to alert the former king of any approaching threats.  Whenever the girls became grumpy, we could usually find ice-cream to reward good behaviour, and both of them climbed into the pushchair and just slept whenever they felt the need.  This meant we could stay out all day, and even have the occasional dîner-à-deux while both the girls snoozed.

After a few days in a machiya (self-catering townhouse) in Kyoto, we were ready to return to the comforts of a hotel, and our final stay in a “Happy Magic” room at the Disneyland Hilton Tokyo Bay was the girls’ absolute favourite venue.  They were amazed to find a friendly little character hidden in a “magic” mirror in our room, a soft-play area in reception and limitless ice-cream in the restaurant.  One observation that struck true again and again was that the Japanese really understand children, and are very creative with their provision of activities, toys and even child-friendly bathrooms in every public place.  Although our porta-potty did come in very useful in parks and on the occasional train platform…when you gotta go, you simply gotta go!

If you’re looking for a family adventure, particularly if you can avail of a shorter flight from the Middle East, consider Japan.  You will have the holiday of a lifetime. Oh, and if your children can still fit into a double pushchair – take it!

Top tips from Claire

The trip to Japan was organized and booked through www.uniquejapantours.com

She stayed at…

The Park Hotel, Tokyo: http://en.parkhoteltokyo.com/, the Geppaku machiya in Kyoto: http://www.kyoto-machiya-inn.com/geppaku/, and the Hilton Tokyo Bay: http://www3.hilton.com/en/hotels/japan/hilton-tokyo-bay-TYOTBTW/index.html

They ate at…

Small, family-run restaurants – no fancy restaurants for us, with the exception of “Bills”, which we stumbled across on a walk down Ometosando: www.bills.com.au/#

The main highlights for the Cooke family were:

Tokyo Science Museum: http://www.jsf.or.jp/eng/

Legoland (Tokyo): http://www.legolanddiscoverycenter.jp/tokyo/en/

Meiji Jingu shrine – preceded by a Sunday walk down Omotesando (stop off at Antique Bazaar to buy gifts) and through the Harajuku district

Osaka Kids’ Plaza: http://www.kidsplaza.or.jp/en/

Kyoto – there are so many wonderful things to see in Kyoto.  We loved walking through the parks and the older area of town (Gion).  A guide can really enhance your visit to Kyoto – recommended!

What you need to know:

Check the temperature / seasonality of your visit.  We visited in cherry blossom season, but found it surprisingly cold.  We had to wrap up warm every day, and needed our rainjackets.  You can buy umbrellas everywhere, very cheaply.

The toilets are amazing.  We grew very accustomed to heated seats, music and – occasionally – were baffled by which button was the flush!

The Japanese are on time.  If your hotel says breakfast finishes at 10am, they will take away all the food and coffee in one fell swoop at 10am.  Even if you’re holding onto your plate.  Be on time.

Fashion has a whole other meaning in Japan. You can try and make a statement too, or just sit back, admit defeat and admire.

You need shoes you can walk in and a raincoat.  This does not really work with trying to make a fashion statement.  Although my Nike stacked trainers got some admiring looks – result!

Children are expected to behave. Do what you can.  We incentivised with an iPad, which came with us for sneaky use under the table at restaurants after all food had been attempted and a decent amount eaten, allowing us to linger over a glass of sake…happy holidays!

Motherhood

Stacey Jackson | London | Shares about her 4 children and singing with Snoop Dog

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Photograph by Mateusz Sitek

Stacey Jackson is a wonderful warm and funny mum who I had the pleasure of meeting and spending time with when she was last in Dubai visiting with her beautiful family.  Despite having 4 children she managed to reignite her singing career on the UK Dance Charts with great success singing with the likes of Snoop Dog and now travels to perform all over the world – she has also released her latest single, Dance the Night Away featuring Binky Felstead from Made in Chelsea.  It is incredible to see how focussed she is and she shows you that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.  Her songs are dance tracks that are often heard on the dance floor – we track Stacey down to ask her how she managed to do it all.  Here are the links to some of our favourite hits from her albums.

One of her most well-known tunes ‘Is This Love‘

Her music video with Snoop Dog, ‘Live it up’

And her new hit ‘Dance the Night Away‘ featuring Binky Felstead from the reality show Made in Chelsea.

Can you tell us a little bit of about your family especially about your
four beautiful children?

I have three boys, 18, 16, 12 and a girl who’s seven. My eldest son
developed an app called Verdict which is an anonymous image sharing app and he raised over $1m from venture capitalist firms to develop it. So although he was accepted to University of Pennsylvania early, he will be taking a gap year to work in San Francisco on his app.

Can you tell us about the dynamics of having 3 boys and a girl?

Haha! There’s no doubt she’s treated like a little princess but because
she is socialised by three older brothers she’s quite mature for her age.  The other day we were going out for dinner as a family and she said “Mum, I really don’t think I should go. I’m really tired and I don’t want to be whiney at the table.” What 7 year old says that? None of my boys ever wanted to miss out on anything. But she’s so confident and amazingly independent for her age.

Both your husband and you are from North America originally, how did you come to live in London?

Originally we moved over for my husband’s job and then ultimately both our careers over here took off. Fast forward almost 15 years and we are still loving it!

Some of your children are now in their teenage years ­ everyone talks about the negatives about teenagers.  Can you share some of the joys?

I’m really lucky. I have bright, well-mannered teens. I think the key is
to know their friends well and who they hang out with. My 16 year old son is currently going through his GCSE exams so he’s been really
focused. He will be working in Philadelphia this summer interning for a venture capitalist firm. I’m very proud of all my kids.

For parents looking to send their children to schools in London, in your opinion, what are the top senior schools in London?

For really bright boys probably the obvious choices…
St. Paul’s
City of London
Westminster

Was boarding school ever an option?  If not, why not?

We thought about it for my oldest son as many of his friends were going to board. In fact a bunch were going to Eton and he almost went to Harrow. But in the 11th hour we all got cold feet! I think every kid is different and every family is different so you have the do what’s right for you and we wanted to have our kids growing up together as a family.

Can you tell us about your childhood and how it led you to sing in the first place?

I grew up in Montreal. I have a younger brother and my mom was a family life educator and my dad was a graphic artist. In fact in his earlier days he designed a lot of record covers for loads of Canadian artists including Celine Dion’s French albums when she was younger. I always was a performer from the time I was little and remember being asked to sing on TV for a charity telethon at 11 years old. From that moment on I knew that singing was going to be a major part of my life.

You previously had a singing career and came from a music background, what made you decide to come back into the industry.

I was in a band growing up in Montreal called ColdFront. It was an
original hard rock band. Then after college and living in New York I had a career working as a publicist in the television industry launching programmes and working with major A-list talent. But I also was lead singer in a Motown band called fuzzy Dice. So at nights I play in different venues around New York. Once I started having kids and I moved to London I became one of the vocalists with a covers band til one day I finally decided it was time to record an album. That’s when it all really started for me.

You also made an extremely famous hit on the dance floor with Snoop Dog.  What an experience!  Can you tell us more about it?

Well the funny thing was the first album’s profits went to a UK based charity called Music For Youth. It got a lot of buzz as I raised £20,000 and featured some of the talented kids from the charity on it. One of the tracks got remixed and there is my song — sitting between Lady Gaga and the Scissor Sisters in the Top Ten! Suddenly I was getting calls from producers saying my vocals suited dance music and would I be interested in writing an album.  I wrote Live It Up based on a dream I had where my late father came to visit me and he said “Stae, this is it, this is your time, this is what you’ve always wanted and you have to go for it!” I was being managed at the time by an American manager called Steven Machat who said it would be a great idea to get a rapper on the track. I thought we could revisit some of the up-and-coming new artists from the charity MFY but he just said “How about Snoop Doog? He’d love this, he’d love you and he’d love the story”. Steve sent him the track and five days later I was on a plane to the States to work with Snoop. Crazy!

Can you tell us what we can look forward to from the brand, Stacey Jackson, in the future?

I’ve always been into health and fitness. I actually taught fitness classes right up until I was 8 months pregnant with my third child. So
I’m really passionate about keeping fit and healthy. As the music I write is up-beat dance music, it lives really well in the gyms — with my videos being shown around the world. I actually came up with an idea for a fitness top which addresses issues women face while working out — largely because I needed it and it simply doesn’t exist in the market! And from there a whole line of fitness clothes came about So watch this space for a unique fitness brand coming soon! At the moment it’s called StaeFit.

Your husband also owns his own private equity company, how do you both manage such busy careers with the four children?  Do you have rules about how much time you stay away from the children?

Great question. When all the touring started for me it was tough to learn to juggle the whole thing. Thank goodness for Grandmas! My mum flies over if I need to be gone for a big chunk of time. But I never travel more than 10 days away at a time and try to swing it when it’s term time so they have their routine with school etc. The nutty times are when I’m releasing a single. So these next few months will start to get ridiculous or me with Dance The Night Away releasing.

What makes you feel guilty when it comes to your children?

Every mum goes through a guilty stage at some point. For me, because I have four plus my husband and a career I have to split my time with each of them as much as I can. Sometimes I let my third child stay up later than he should so I could be with him longer. Then I feel guilty for even doing that!

The older children get, the more they need their parents.  Do you
agree with this statement?

I don’t think they “need” us more per se, for me it’s more like “bigger kids, bigger issues”.  It’s not about a scraped knee or forgetting to do your homework anymore.  You have to start thinking about your kid getting into a car with a friend who may have had one too many beers for example. You have to learn to trust your kids as they get older and hope that the values you’ve been teaching them sunk in!

For parents tempted with the thought of having 4 children, any advice?

I was lucky to have started young so I have quite big age gaps between my kids. My older two teenagers look after my younger two kids. It’s a great dynamic. I think you need to have a load of patience no matter how many children you have no matter how many or how old though!

You are heavily involved in the music industry, and now that you have a little girl who is seven, does it change your views on what children are exposed to?

My daughter sees me both in “mummy mode” and in “pop singer mode” so she realises it’s a “job” – that the glitz and glam is just all “show biz.”

As a mother, we can only hope sometimes.  What do you hope for all your children?

That they live their dreams, do what they’ve always wanted to do and be who they really want to be. And they might not figure that out right away!  I would never want to hold them back from something they are truly passionate about. That’s said, I am here for them if they ever need me.  Forever.

To find out more about Stacey Jackson follow her on her FACEBOOK

Travel

Family Travel | Kenya | The Safari Collection | Q&A with Tanya Carr-Hartley, mum of 3 and owner

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My husband and I have been thinking about our holiday plans over the next couple of years, and we love the idea of a safari trip for our soon-to-be 4 children.  We are considering a possible trip next year or the year after, and after much research we really liked the idea of The Safari Collection that has 4 beautiful properties: Giraffe Manor, Solio Lodge, Sasaab and Sala’s Camp.  We talk to Tanya Carr-Hartley, owner and mother of 3, about their family-owned safari business and about her life with her family in Kenya, her strong beliefs in organic food, and how her children are so blessed to grow up in Kenya.

Can you tell us a little bit about your family?  The names and ages of your children?

My Husband Mikey and I are both fourth generation Kenyans, and have had the fortune to be brought up in East Africa. We both have strong history with wildlife and safari life. Sala is our eldest daughter and is 10 years old, and then we have twins one girl Tisa and one boy Kinna who are six years old.

What is the best time of the year to see the migration?

The best time for the migration is from end June to September. The migration does come earlier sometimes and stays longer towards end of October sometimes too.

Can you tell us about the amazing four properties that your family owns?

The properties we have in our collection are in four totally different regions of Kenya and boast a variety of wildlife, topography and culture. Three of the four have been built by us in locations we feel are a huge compliment to a safari circuit. The fourth is the iconic Giraffe Manor, which is situated in Nairobi.

How did it come about that your family collected these four properties?

After starting our business selling luxury mobile camps, we discovered that we needed lodges/properties to compliment the circuit. We slowly negotiated agreements for land leases in carefully chosen areas in Kenya from the arid wilderness of Kenya’s northern frontier, where we now have Sasaab. And the lush plains and acacia forests of Solio (kenya’s first private conservancy and where we now have Solio Lodge), which is sandwiched between the Aberdare Mountains and Mount Kenya. When you get to the top of the Aberdares it is like being in Scotland with heather and waterfalls. To one of the last untouched corners of Kenya’s most famous National Reserve – The Masai Mara. As both our families have history in wildlife, its capture and care, we have been able to work hand in hand with the land owners to create attractive lodges in these prime locations.  With Giraffe Manor it was about timing, bravery and sheer determination. The original owners were family friends and we were lucky enough to be able to buy the property in 2009.

Can you tell us more about how your own children can relish growing up in Kenya?

Our children are so privileged to be able to grow up in this country. Their life is full of adventure, wildlife, culture and a freedom that you only really get in Africa. It also offers them such an incredibly diverse pallet of education – amazing life experiences that give a knowledge and understanding that can’t be taught in a classroom. Sala was only six weeks old when we opened Sala’s Camp, she has grown up much of her life in the bush and has learnt to love guiding, wildlife and has developed an incredibly artistic eye. The younger two, have spent their life on the move and amongst a variety of ages of guests, and so have incredible social skills and of course the flare to love the outside world too.

How would one travel to Kenya to reach the properties from London or Dubai?

Travelling from London to Nairobi is fairly easy leaving either in the morning on a daylight flight or on an overnight flight to Nairobi direct, on Kenya Airways or BA. The flight takes eight to nine hours and there is very little time difference.

Travelling from Dubai is best on Emirates and is only a four hour flight, extremely easy and there are a variety of options daily. Qatar Airways also has different options daily.

You also believe in organic farming – can you tell us about how you have entwined your organic farming into the food served at the properties?

Much of my childhood was on a farm where my grandparents lived, and allowed me to enjoy the benefits of farm life. My grandmother had the most remarkable home garden, growing all her own tea/coffee/fruit/ veg/ lamb/pigs and of course making her own butter and such from fresh farm milk. The taste of fresh produce enriches food so much that I have encouraged all our properties to try and develop an organic garden for our guests to enjoy. We also farm our own honey from bee hives we have had installed in all our lodges.

I have children who are 5 years, 3 years, 20 months and a newborn on the way, what would you personally recommend if we did this next year?

Wow four children, what fun. I think to be honest that you can certainly take a trip next year, and all our properties are so child friendly that your elder children would have a huge amount of fun. The smaller children are really too young to “understand” all elements of a safari, but we would happily be able to offer a “ayah/Nanny” service at a very reasonable rate so that you have time to enjoy relax.  Sasaab has a lovely slopping beach style swimming pool… which all of your kids would hugely enjoy and meeting the local Samburu people has all children completely gripped by their colourful clothes and presence. At Solio the game is so intense and easily available that game drives don’t have to be early in the morning, nor do they need to be too long.

Trying to mobilise a family of six for an early game drive could be challenging I imagine!

So Solio is perfect for this. You don’t really need to leave the lodge until 0830 to 0900 and even then you can have a 30 minute drive and see lots. We also have horses at Solio and the children love getting involved in the kitchen.

What can my children expect?

The world’s best play ground!

How many days do you recommend for children under 7 years of age?

I would suggest a 7 day itinerary if you can afford the time?

For families that have children 7 years or older, what kind of itinerary would you put together for them including the number of days?

I would put together an itinerary with less travel, more time on the ground, and a variety of wildlife and culture. Again I think a 7/8 day trip would be fabulous or even more if you have time and means. Depending on the time of year The Safari Collection will provide a detailed itinerary best suited.

Are there concerns about malaria in the area?

None of our properties are high malaria zones. Infact Solio is too high for Malaria all together. You will be recommended to take malaria medication due to the Samburu region and the Mara region, but those who live there do not take it and have not had malaria there either.

How do you balance your time as a mother running the properties whilst managing 3 beautiful children?

This is a difficult and challenging balance. My children spend 95% of their school term in school, and 100% of their holidays in the bush. The days are full….and luckily I love the early mornings and busy days. I think sometimes I should have a bit more time for my family, but my mother was a worker bee and I feel she was a great role model.

If your family had to go to another destination for a holiday where would be your ideal trip?

Of course with young kids a beach destination is always fun, or the ski slopes. East Africa has the most amazing beaches and we often enjoy those. As a family to escape all work related elements we find the ski slopes to be the best “family time” and allows us to turn off cell phones and relax.

For more information, please visit www.thesafaricollection.com or email them on info@thesafaricollection.com where Tanya or one of her team would be delighted to help you with travel arrangements.

Children's Products

Travel this summer | Top tip for travelling with your little ones this summer | Advice from Palmer’s leading Pediatrician

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Palmers have a great wide range of affordable creams and shower products for children and mothers-to-be.  One of our favourites is their Tummy Butter stretch mark prevention for pregnant women –  we like also the fact that Palmers products are free from parabens and phthalate.

With the summer time rapidly approaching and many mums looking forward to escaping the scorching temperatures, Palmers Mother & Baby brings you their top tips on how to stay cool, calm and collected no matter how stressful the situation may be.  From frantic packing to tantrums in the aisles, here’s some advice from Palmer’s leading Pediatrician Dr.Rajul Shailesh Matkar:

Plan for every eventuality. Always make sure you think of every possible scenario you may find yourself in and pack accordingly.

If you are flying with small children always take enough changes of clothes, nappies, bibs and milk to get you through the flight.  Our advice would be to always take one more of everything just to be on the safe side!  Also don’t be embarrassed to ask for help – that is what the stewards are there for.

Always carry medicine. As a parent you just never know when that pesky sore throat will hit or the latest tooth make an appearance, so always have essential medicinal items to hand.  From a thermometer and plasters, through to antiseptic cream and Calpol – don’t get caught short.

Hydration is key, even if you are heading to a cooler climate. Always make sure that you have water on hand and make a conscious effort to encourage your children to stay hydrated.

For those with younger children, lots of travelling, especially in the heat can often lead to nappy rash and sore bottoms. Try to let your children go nappy free when possible and ensure you use a nice, natural nappy cream to keep them bums moisturised and rash free.

Keep the germs at bay.  While I don’t recommend wrapping your children up in cotton wool, it is also advisable to take some precautions, especially when you are in a foreign country.  From hand wipes, gel sanitisers, through to liquid/tablet sanitising solutions, always have them with you just incase.

Keep them entertained!  As we know children get bored very easily and often need to be entertained.  Make sure you have lots of tricks up your sleeve to keep boredom at bay – as this is when the tantrums tend to strike.

For those of you travelling to warm climates, sun protection must be your number one priority.  You should always use water-proof sunscreens with factor 50+ protect and ensure you are putting on at least 30 minutes before the go into the sun and keep it topped up throughout the day.  Avoid the midday sun and ensure your children have hats that keep their necks covered and swim suits that protect their shoulders.

After the sun make sure you keep their skin moisturised to avoid damage to the sun or any irritations.

Never assume you’ll be able to find the things you need on your travels!  If you are fussy about the food, nappies and milk brands for your children then make sure you take the key items with you, incase the brands are not stocked locally.

Pack ahead – never leave this to the last minute even if you are only heading out for a day trip – trying to concentrate on packing everything you will need for your family can be challenging when left to the last minute!