Tag Archives: Expat mums in Abu Dhabi

Improving ways to learn with children | Lois Kam Heymann

I was most fortunate to meet Lois Kam Heymann on her recent trip to Dubai.  Lois was working with The Developing Child Centre based in Dubai, giving a series of lectures at The Change Initiative Store, and kindly took time out for this interview.  Lois, I realised during our interview, was the person I had been praying to meet  who would inspire me on new ways and methods to teach my children.

Background

Lois, based in New York City, came to Dubai to work with The Developing Child Centre, a centre that works with children with learning difficulties that could potentially stop them reaching their full potential.  Lois, a speech and language pathologist, with over 30 years experience works with children with listening challenges such as various degrees of deafness and is one of the world’s leading authorities on Auditory Processing Disorders.

A few years back, Rosie O’Donnell, the Hollywood actress, sought Lois help for her adopted son, Blake who was 7 years old at the time.  Rosie was so impressed by Blake’s progress that she decided to work with Lois to launch a book to help other mothers who didn’t have access to Lois herself.  The Sound of Hope was a ground breaking book and Lois appeared on Good Morning America, Rachel Ray and the New York Times’ Health Section.

Over time, it was discovered that Lois’ therapies also helped children who did not have Auditory Processing Disorders.  Some of her therapies include working with various toys and tools that help children increase their vocabulary and to help children with their creativity.

What sort of specific activities?

Some of the activities, Lois describes, can be as simple as finger painting, using homemade playdough, cutting up old magazine pages into puzzles, playing with stickers.  These play exercises allow the children to be creative, but a significant difference is also reliant on how the parents interact with their children to help their development.

Learning through play?

I explained to Lois that Dubai was so multicultural, and people, like me, come from cultures that don’t necessarily value learning through play.  I did not have that upbringing myself coming from a Chinese background, living in Singapore until aged 10 before being sent to a UK boarding school.  I lived in a ‘tiger mum’ environment where we learnt everything through traditional drill methods.  I still believe there is some value in the ‘tiger-mum’ system – the evidence is vast.  Just look at the students from China and India.

But now, as a parent myself I also do see the importance of play learning – it is less stressful on the children and the results are the same.  It may not always come naturally to me to teach my children through play or to use the right words though but Lois can show us how. For parents from Western cultures, it would be like teaching most of these parents to suck eggs.  For other cultures, Lois teachings are hugely beneficial especially for those who believe that the more expensive the toy the better regardless of the learning and developmental value of the toy.

Which toys to choose for learning and development?

Lois prefers plainer toys that allow the children to use their imagination.  For example, building blocks are extremely valuable in her therapy sessions as a child could imagine one block to be a mobile telephone or an 8 month old could learn to words ‘up’ and ‘down’ by building the blocks up and down.  It is then through the right interaction with the child’s parents that the child can learn  to expand their vocabulary or skills.

Where can one find and understand which toys are the correct ones?

Lois, due to popular demand, launched a website called ListenLoveLearnToys.com.  The site recommends and suggest toys that aims to support the teaching and learning process for various age groups that help with creative play, memory, language, sensory and much more.  With the toys, parents would learn to interact with their children by leading the play.  Lois adds that it is not always correct to ask the children questions during the play learning but to suggest or prompt ideas that would lead to them to experience different sensory  or use of vocabulary.

Time with your children

Lois explained that parents mistakenly believe that they need to play with their children for hours and hours.  This type of interactive play could be just for 5 to 10 minutes a day, and this quality time with your children can significantly increase their vocabulary.  A 2 – 3 year old might just require 5 minutes whilst a 4 – 5 year old could concentrate for 10 minutes depending on the activity.

More importantly, these activities should be aged appropriate and be at the right interest level.  Afterall, if the children pick their activity they will play for much longer.

Boy vs Girls

In Lois’ experience there is little difference in the requirements of boys and girls at this age.  The different sexes may show their frustrations differently.  For example, girls may withdraw more whilst boys act out their frustrations more.

Parents

One thing Lois has understood from meeting decades of parents is that all parents around the world are the same.  They are determined to do the best for their children.

IPAD and Technology

Lois recognises  that technology is here to stay but children should be  monitored to use the right apps on the IPAD, for example and to use this technology in moderation.  She has also created apps to help children like Category Carousel and One Step Two Step.

My time with Lois was really amazing – she gave me the confidence that I was on the right track with my children.  That I didn’t need to feel guilty for not spending hours playing or entertaining the kids, and most of all, I can educate my children.

Lois Kam Heymann will be returning to the UAE next year.  Don’t miss her talks.  In the meantime, you can follow her ListenLoveLearn.com or purchase her book The Sound of Hope from Amazon.com .

The box that made me who I am | by Roos Kriek |

Moving: it’s such a hassle. The whole idea of going to a new place is exiting and finding a new home is as well. The packing and unpacking, however, is a nightmare. Yes, I did go through all my stuff before boxing it up and tried to throw out as much as possible. So why, when it comes to unpacking am I left wondering why on earth I’m still carrying around a box with old school notes?

It’s only when I sit down and start reading that I begin to understand. These were the notes that we passed around in class about 25 years ago (being able to write that makes me feel old!) – and they crack me up. Life was all about who you sit next to on the bus, who gets invited to the party of the popular boy and fights between girls because ‘she ignored her and then she thought that it was because of that and then she thought it was on purpose….’
How can I possibly get rid of these – this is my past. These totally irrelevant conversations written on various scraps of paper made me the person I am today. Not being asked to dance by the popular boy gave me the opportunity to find the one I am with today.

But hang on. Am I romanticizing this box of teenage angst? My kids (both boys) will probably not be interested in this very girl-related stuff anyway. So why do I keep it, moving the box around with me through all these years?

Maybe no reasons are required. And whatever the case, I can’t toss them out now. I will store the box at the back of a cupboard (again) and will go through it when organizing our next move (again). So, until that time and when I come across it (doubtless looking for something else at the back of the cupboard), I will simply think of it as ‘the box that made me who I am’.

Roos Kriek, dutch mum of two children, aged 2 years and 5 months, moved to Dubai two months ago and has been writing for her own blog magontheblog.com for 2 years now. She now contributes to seashellsonthepalm.com .  

UK Boarding Schools | Helena Frith Powell | Published Author & Editor tells her take on boarding schools

Helena Frith Powell, lives in between Abu Dhabi and the UK, and is a published author of several books including her latest book, The Ex-Factor, and a best-selling author of Love In a Warm Climate.  Helena has almost 20 years experience in journalism and still writes for the Daily Mail UK and is the Editor of Five Magazine in Abu Dhabi.  Helena and her husband have 3 children currently at boarding school, and she shares her personal feelings about a much debated system.

The children have now been at boarding school for a year and a half and I am still not really sure what I think of it all. Having never been to boarding school, it was never one of those things I was adamant I wanted to do, although I could see the benefits and was jealous of all my friends who went.

It all started with a bike ride. Bertrand Russell, the philosopher, returned from a bicycle ride with the realisation that he no longer loved his wife and told her that they must separate. My husband returned from cycling in the Languedoc hills two summers ago with a similar epiphany, although his concerned the children, not me. “We must send the children to boarding school,” he said, before going upstairs for a shower.

When a man comes back from a bike ride with something to say, one is forced to listen and, sometimes, even to act. In fact, our children’s education had been worrying me too.

We had been based in Abu Dhabi for six years by then and I felt there was something missing from their lives. One of our friends from France summed it up when he came to stay by saying that Olivia was “running on empty”. There just wasn’t enough to stimulate them in Abu Dhabi, at least not in terms of education. I still don’t believe that a school that finishes at 2.30 pm can possibly be teaching them enough. Added to which, it was expensive. And as we were spending our own money we decided we would rather spend it on something more worthwhile.

As I said they have now been there for a year and a half. There is no doubting the benefits. All of them have flourished. Leo has developed into a gorgeous little gentleman and already knows more than I do about just about everything. He has captained his school football and cricket teams. Bea has turned out to be a school superstar, with great grades and masses of extra-curricular activities such as the school play, musical theatre and netball to mention a few. Olivia has become a lovely, confident and capable young lady, who is on track to do really well in her GCSEs this year and has made friends I think she will know forever.

There are so many upsides; the education (obviously), the people they meet, the things they do (Leo’s school just raised money for Afghanistan by reading poetry for 24 hours in a tree-house, nuts I know, but what a lovely romantic idea), the sport they play, the values they learn, the bonds they make. But what are the downsides?

I suppose the biggest one is that I miss them. OK I won’t pretend to miss the everyday drudgery of the school run, the homework, and the endless bickering. But I do miss not seeing them every day and not kissing them goodnight. The girls are much better at keeping in touch with me than Leo, so we skype or talk every day, but sometimes I won’t hear from him for ten days, which is tough. I rely on texts from another mother to know how he got on in his football matches. And of course I wake up in the middle of the night wondering how he is.

The truth is of course, he’s fine. He’s more than fine. If he weren’t fine I would hear about it. We have had some bouts of homesickness from all three and I can confirm the saying about boarding school that ‘you’re only as happy as your most miserable child’. A year and a half in though they are all pretty settled and I think would be horrified at the thought of going back to school in Abu Dhabi.

I suppose the reason I say I’m not sure what I think about it is that although I know it’s the best thing for them, I still can’t help wondering if we are all missing out on family life. Having said that I worked out the other day that they have five months at home so we have plenty of that as well.

I don’t think there always is a right or a wrong when it comes to children. Maybe there is just a middle ground that works and for the moment at least, this is it.

Helena Frith Powell is the author of The Ex-Factor published by Gibson Square.  You can follow Helena on her blog www.helenafrithpowell.com and purchase her books on Amazon.co.uk

Back to school bags and lunch boxes | A favourite with the Beckhams

BeatrixNY is now available at Hamleys, Dubai Mall | Suri Cruise, Harper Beckham are some of the celebrity babies seen sporting these bags.

If you are keen to have something different this September it is fun to choose from the BeatrixNY range for kids.  My little girl has already spotted the design with the Pink Pig that Katie Holmes is carrying for Suri.

BeatrixNY is a New York City based company devoted to creating cool, contemporary products for kids. Products combine a childlike love of whimsical imagination with a grown- up sense of modern design and style. BeatrixNY has developed an adorable cast of characters that come to life with colorful graphics captured on all the products with each one designed with a focus on simplicity, quality, & fun. Given its uniqueness and creativity, BeatrixNY has an uber-cool reputation within the celebrity world with the likes of Harper Beckham, Suri Cruise and Ramona Gyllenhaal being seen with BeatrixNY products.

BeatrixNY products are also available on www.BabySouk.com