Tag Archives: Mummy blogger London
One diamond please | by Roos Kriek
I have heard of a friend of a friend who has been complaining about the lack of a sparkler on her left ring finger. Because she is neither engaged nor married (being bad enough), her partner promised to give her one upon the birth of their first child… er, second child…. After a while, with her being rather disappointed in him and he somewhat fed up with her nagging about the ring, he decided instead to transfer a considerable amount of money into her bank account. It didn’t take very long at all for her to walk in and out of a Tiffany store and then post a photo on Facebook, showing that she had finally got her ring. No romance involved, just a financial transaction so she could acquire her new ‘best friend’.
Another friend once told me that she would only accept a Tiffany solitaire diamond ring when her future husband would ‘get down on one knee’. At that time, she didn’t have a boyfriend but it was clear that whoever did come along would need to be a clever (or at least wealthy) boy. In time, a suitable fellow arrived, the question was asked and – crucially – out came the green box that she had been waiting for for so long. I doubt that it all was entirely down to his own initiative.
Another story: American girl meets European boy. He gets her parents’ approval and vice versa. He decides to take the plunge and proposes with a diamond ring; she says “yes”. They both share the happy news with her friends, who upon inspecting her left hand say, “Ohhh, how cute”. He went for European style, apparently, which for people (like me) who need a translation, means: “Ohhh, can someone please hand me my glasses because I cannot see the stone”.
Ok, one more. All true stories, I promise.
A boy goes out of his way to get an engagement ring. Now even though he did spend the ‘common’ (or so I’m told) amount of three months salary on it, and she said “yes”, they went back to the jeweler together to exchange the ring for the one she really loved.
So, there you have it boys! No big deal, just some basic pointers as to how girls can be when it comes to engagement rings.
Given the tales above, it seems that for a guy the choosing of the ring could, perhaps, be more of a commitment than the choosing of the girl. Not in the least if we believe what we see on TV or in Hollywood movies – that he will drop down on one knee and she will start screaming upon seeing her reflection in the diamond sparkling up at her. Friends will sigh and say, “what a rock”, to which she will modestly chuckle.
But if that is not the case, will she say no? Did anyone ever say “no” to a proposal because the ring wasn’t right?
Not all married woman have a diamond and not all diamonds are from Tiffany’s. Although the products of this worldwide store are known for their high quality when it comes to the 4 c’s (carat, cut, color and clarity – which is how you rate a diamond), it does not mean that this is the only way to get a girl to say “yes”. Some questions are ‘popped’ with key ring holders or soda-can tops, others with a ring from the local fair. It’s also worth remembering that diamonds may not be a particularly ethical choice (think ‘blood diamonds’…).
Let’s just hope that love is stronger then the value of the ring in the box. After all, it’s only really a result of one of the best marketing campaign ever to make such a big deal out of the expense. Many (well-known) jewelry stores happily lead insecure would-be proposers from their 0,25 carat section to the ‘real deal’ room with phrases like “it’s an investment”, “a once in a lifetime event” and, of their intended, “she must be really special”.
So, to all of you out there who are hoping to get married, here are two very important things to remember. One, a proposal is about the question and the person asking it. And two, don’t let any jewelry store salespeople persuade you to take out an extra mortgage. If it’s love, the answer should be “yes” no matter what the poor boy (or girl) is offering you…
Improving ways to learn with children | Lois Kam Heymann
I was most fortunate to meet Lois Kam Heymann on her recent trip to Dubai. Lois was working with The Developing Child Centre based in Dubai, giving a series of lectures at The Change Initiative Store, and kindly took time out for this interview. Lois, I realised during our interview, was the person I had been praying to meet who would inspire me on new ways and methods to teach my children.
Background
Lois, based in New York City, came to Dubai to work with The Developing Child Centre, a centre that works with children with learning difficulties that could potentially stop them reaching their full potential. Lois, a speech and language pathologist, with over 30 years experience works with children with listening challenges such as various degrees of deafness and is one of the world’s leading authorities on Auditory Processing Disorders.
A few years back, Rosie O’Donnell, the Hollywood actress, sought Lois help for her adopted son, Blake who was 7 years old at the time. Rosie was so impressed by Blake’s progress that she decided to work with Lois to launch a book to help other mothers who didn’t have access to Lois herself. The Sound of Hope was a ground breaking book and Lois appeared on Good Morning America, Rachel Ray and the New York Times’ Health Section.
Over time, it was discovered that Lois’ therapies also helped children who did not have Auditory Processing Disorders. Some of her therapies include working with various toys and tools that help children increase their vocabulary and to help children with their creativity.
What sort of specific activities?
Some of the activities, Lois describes, can be as simple as finger painting, using homemade playdough, cutting up old magazine pages into puzzles, playing with stickers. These play exercises allow the children to be creative, but a significant difference is also reliant on how the parents interact with their children to help their development.
Learning through play?
I explained to Lois that Dubai was so multicultural, and people, like me, come from cultures that don’t necessarily value learning through play. I did not have that upbringing myself coming from a Chinese background, living in Singapore until aged 10 before being sent to a UK boarding school. I lived in a ‘tiger mum’ environment where we learnt everything through traditional drill methods. I still believe there is some value in the ‘tiger-mum’ system – the evidence is vast. Just look at the students from China and India.
But now, as a parent myself I also do see the importance of play learning – it is less stressful on the children and the results are the same. It may not always come naturally to me to teach my children through play or to use the right words though but Lois can show us how. For parents from Western cultures, it would be like teaching most of these parents to suck eggs. For other cultures, Lois teachings are hugely beneficial especially for those who believe that the more expensive the toy the better regardless of the learning and developmental value of the toy.
Which toys to choose for learning and development?
Lois prefers plainer toys that allow the children to use their imagination. For example, building blocks are extremely valuable in her therapy sessions as a child could imagine one block to be a mobile telephone or an 8 month old could learn to words ‘up’ and ‘down’ by building the blocks up and down. It is then through the right interaction with the child’s parents that the child can learn to expand their vocabulary or skills.
Where can one find and understand which toys are the correct ones?
Lois, due to popular demand, launched a website called ListenLoveLearnToys.com. The site recommends and suggest toys that aims to support the teaching and learning process for various age groups that help with creative play, memory, language, sensory and much more. With the toys, parents would learn to interact with their children by leading the play. Lois adds that it is not always correct to ask the children questions during the play learning but to suggest or prompt ideas that would lead to them to experience different sensory or use of vocabulary.
Time with your children
Lois explained that parents mistakenly believe that they need to play with their children for hours and hours. This type of interactive play could be just for 5 to 10 minutes a day, and this quality time with your children can significantly increase their vocabulary. A 2 – 3 year old might just require 5 minutes whilst a 4 – 5 year old could concentrate for 10 minutes depending on the activity.
More importantly, these activities should be aged appropriate and be at the right interest level. Afterall, if the children pick their activity they will play for much longer.
Boy vs Girls
In Lois’ experience there is little difference in the requirements of boys and girls at this age. The different sexes may show their frustrations differently. For example, girls may withdraw more whilst boys act out their frustrations more.
Parents
One thing Lois has understood from meeting decades of parents is that all parents around the world are the same. They are determined to do the best for their children.
IPAD and Technology
Lois recognises that technology is here to stay but children should be monitored to use the right apps on the IPAD, for example and to use this technology in moderation. She has also created apps to help children like Category Carousel and One Step Two Step.
My time with Lois was really amazing – she gave me the confidence that I was on the right track with my children. That I didn’t need to feel guilty for not spending hours playing or entertaining the kids, and most of all, I can educate my children.
Lois Kam Heymann will be returning to the UAE next year. Don’t miss her talks. In the meantime, you can follow her ListenLoveLearn.com or purchase her book The Sound of Hope from Amazon.com .
Susanna Stanford | Photography | UK
A great girlfriend of mine from school, Susanna Stanford, has always been passionate about photography, and has been taking photos professionally since 2001. I love her work because for me she really captures the essence of family life, especially in her children’s portraits as she has two gorgeous boys of her own.
Based in the UK with her family, Susanna takes on a variety of photography work including wedding, portraits, dogs, and events. To find out more please visit www.susannastanford.com