Tag Archives: Seashells On The Palm

Motherhood | I can’t do it on my own | How I rely on my faith

It has taken me a long time to figure out that I can’t do motherhood on my own.  There are many moments I catch myself doing it on my own strength and that’s when problems start.

I found God around 12 years ago.  It has been a relationship that has grown over time, and I am certainly still not where I want to be or I will probably never get to that point.

Raising 4 children and being a wife who works part-time makes it difficult of me to juggle everything.  I often feel I do a lot of jobs badly.  As the old adage say, jack of all trades but master of none.  It is easy to succumb to the stress of daily life.  All mums face it.  You can worry just about everything.  Am I giving my children enough time? Am I screwing them up?  Have I disciplined them? Do they hold the right values? Are they at the right school? Are their friends good influences? Do they have the right teacher? Do we have the finances to provide? And so the list goes on.

Without God, I would be in a constant state of panic.  I have to trust Him that he blessed me with these four children that he is at the steering wheel taking charge of their everyday and their future.  Whilst I do what I can, He is ultimately in control.  I seek my rest in Him.

God works best when we are at our weakest.  We are not, I am certainly not, a super woman.  I have seen God take many of my weaknesses and used His strength to achieve his will.  Over and over again He has also taken care of many impossible situations over the years.  All the while, I felt His peace.  A life with God does not mean that there will not be troubles ahead but when you walk closely with God, but it is amazing to see that you can face every situation with a strong sense of peace.

A well-known pastor in the UK, from Holy Trinity Brompton, Nicky Gumbel, shared something.  He said that he kept a pray journal.  Looking back at his prayer journals over the years, he has seen that God has answered all his prayers on God’s perfect timing.  Too many coincidences, you might say. or we can conclude that God exist and He does listen. I can also testify the same.

Matthew 19:26 says ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’

When I first started my walk with God, my mother, gave me Psalm 23 to say everyday.  Now every word rings true and it gives me comfort when facing life’s adversities.  I really recommended saying this every night with your children even.

Back in March, I felt totally overwhelmed and I let the huge waves of issues and challenges overcome me.  I was exhausted and broken.  I realised when it was already too late that I was trying to take charge of everything again, controlling everything in my life for fear of not doing enough and I felt I burnt out.  Then over the Easter holidays, I took some time to reflect on what I had done, and spent time with God and my children.

During the last few weeks, I felt God minister to me that I put myself, yet again, in the driver’s seat, trying to steer myself through the rough seas of motherhood and everything else.  I have taken my foot off the accelerator and I am now waiting on Him.

He told me and he sent a message via family and friends around me that my children are my ministry.  That’s the only job He has asked me to do.  Then, if that is the case,  then I must obey.

I realised that Jesus has ordered our steps.  First comes God, then our husbands and then our children.  I certainly find more peace when I stay true to these priorities. God has always said that He would never leave us nor forsake us.

I am blessed to have found a church that has helped my children develop their love and passion for God.  As a family we pray together and trust God to keep us close and to always have His hand upon us.

Don’t let fear ruin your precious moments with your children.  Let God take care of it all.

I would be the first to say that I am not the perfect Christian or the perfect mother.  I have faced many challenges but I am also on a journey of faith and hope that God will change me slowly everyday with his refining fire.

Intelligent Luxury | My visit to Greenheart Organic Farms

It’s hard to trust anyone with the title organic.  Organic is now big business, and everyone is getting into the game.

Organic and clean foods are also a source of medicine for the body.  Genuinely sick people rely on the right nutrients from organic foods as part of their healing process.  Big businesses are messing around with people’s lives by claiming to be organic when they are not, and consumers are buying without research and with too much trust.  Some of the biggest cons in the market include agave syrup which is just high corn fructose in a nice bottle and pink himalayan salt which adds no value to your plate just your monthly expenses.

It’s pretty confusing for consumers as the bad food list expands to include burnt toasts, or anything that contains refined sugar (that covers a wide list of products found in supermarkets) and barbecue meats that contribute to cancers.  There is also so much research out there that it can be exhausting to sieve through food trends.

I watched a fabulous show on Netflix titled Cooked with Michael Pollan, an important food writer.  In one of the episodes, one of the world’s leading experts said, eat anything you want.  Eat apple pie with ice-cream and expand on that list.  There is nothing wrong with eating all of it but on one condition, he said, that you make it all from scratch.  Such an easy philosophy and yet how many of us struggle on a daily basis to prepare the three meals a day without succumbing to the ease of using tin or jar food, or readily prepared meals.  I know it is not easy.  The trend of the world hasn’t left us mums enough time to cook. The typical family in the US spends less than 30 minutes preparing food and in Europe and India they are starting to follow the same trend.  Big industries want to prepare everything for you – it’s big money.

We need to fight big industries and starting going back to basics.  We don’t have a microwave at home.  Just get a saucepan to heat up your food.  It takes 5 minutes to heat up vs 30 seconds when you zap all nutrients away.

Greenheart Organic Farms

You can imagine my delight when I got an invitation from Elena Kinane, owner of Greenheart Organic Farms to visit her farm in the UAE.  It’s the real mccoy.  I was blown away by what I saw.  I wasn’t sure if I was standing in the UAE or a field in England.

Compost

One of the most important aspects of organic foods is the quality of the ground that it is grown in.  Sand is not nutritious.  Therefore, to make it so, quality compost is key, AKA ‘black gold’.  This compost has to be added for the crops to grow.  It takes 6-months to produce compost, and there are no shortcuts.

Elena keeps 800 goats and chickens on her farm  – the most healthy looking goats I have ever seen with shiny coats from all the organic produce they are fed on.  The cockerel had the most splendid display of colours like a painting from the 1800s having only eaten organic all his life too.  Their manure and leftover crops are prepared for composting and none of the animals are killed for food.  Most importantly, compost should not have any smell, and surprisingly there are farms around the world who do not know how to compost making their produce susceptible to E. coli.

The fields are manually prepared so no heavy machinery is used to plough the fields, and the compost is scattered in straight lines, and volcanic minerals are added to further enrich the soil.

No chemicals

Elena does not use any chemicals on her fields, and uses old farming methods to swot away white flies, and she organises her fields using certain crops to protect other crops.  For example, the smell of kale protects the tomatoes from certain insects.

Abundance

Her fields are overflowing with kale, broccoli, cauliflower, strawberries, heirloom tomatoes, kohlrabi, swiss chard, basil, purple pak choy, rocket, lettuce, fennel, coriander and the list goes on.  Her pain staking efforts of manually shading each broccoli and cauliflower from the desert sun takes time.  Her specially designed papermache cooling systems for the greenhouses cost money and profits from her sale are reinvested into her farm.  There is so much hardwork and effort that goes behind the scenes for the production of an heirloom tomato.

Elena is really a champion at pioneering organic in the UAE.  It is no easy feat and she does it from a place of pure passion and love for her job.  A mother of two, a farmer, and a supplier leaving her little time for anything else.  Four Seasons Hotel and Freedom Pizza are some of her customers, and she has won multiple awards, as well as winning the respect of international chefs, Giorgio L’Ocattelli and Tom Aikens, who have both spent time on her farm.

I trust Elena.  I trust her brand Greenheart Organic Farms.  In this day and age, Greenheart Organic Farms is intelligent luxury.  Whilst, big business wants us to buy the designer clothes, handbags and plastic toys for our children, the luxuries in life will be clean food.

I truly believe in organic for the family especially my children.  It’s hardwork but I persevere.  Most of my monthly allowance goes into food. There are 84 meals in a month so it is expensive for a family of 6 and time consuming but for me it is worth it in this day and age to have health above everything else.  Every month, I learn that I don’t need to buy pesto in a jar or tomatoes in a can.  Just buy fresh and use a blender.

Social media has many downsides but there are also important benefits, and one of them is the exposure healthy food bloggers get from social media changing the way nations eat and in the last 2 – 3 years they have created a new landscape for healthy eating – I applaud them.  As consumers, we are also responsible for setting the tone for future generations to lead big industries and not let them lead us.

You can purchase Greenheart Organic Farm products from their website www.greenheartuae.com or visit their farmshop

Greenheart Organic Farm Store, The Light Building, Ground Floor, Shop 8, Arjan, Al Barsha 2, Dubai.

T : +9714 361 7010
M : +9714 (0)56 6407060
E : admin@greenheartuae.com

Parenting | Mindful Parenting with Joanne Jewell | A course where I learnt about my children and myself, and what I hope to achieve as a parent everyday

Joanne Jewell, the creator of Mindful Parenting, is a British-trained child and adolescent counsellor, who spent some of her teenage years as an expat in  South Africa. Her time in South Africa had instilled a desire to explore the world and Joanne together with her husband jumped at the opportunity to move to Dubai in 2007 with their three sons who are now 22, 20 and 16. Joanne came highly recommended to me as a ‘parenting expert’ although it is a term Joanne rarely likes to use about herself.  She feels strongly that parents are the real ‘experts’ when it comes to their own children but her parenting courses are designed to equip and educate parents with knowledge to help them deal challenges with children of all ages.  I attended her course for Parents of Younger Children (Age 4-8 years) and learnt a tremendous amount walking away with practical information empowering me as a mother going forward. The course has given me tools to set my values and boundaries to help be the parent I want to be.  Of course, it takes much practice to make these changes, and still everyday we try to incorporate this connection with our children, and it doesn’t involve any form of time out.

Parents with different parenting philosophies and backgrounds will be able to take away much from the course.  I actually shout less or get less frustrated and connect better with my children. Joanne discusses much over her 5-week course explaining the science behind a child’s brain, what we as parents should realistically expect from our children, about what empathy really means, how to solve problems with your child, how to set boundaries, using effective praise and so forth. The other 9 women on the course also showed me that everyone was facing their own challenges, most not so different from mine, and we all benefitted and learnt a great deal from each other as well as from Joanne.  I highly recommend attending one of her courses, and hope to attend her sibling course later in the year. 

Can you tell us a bit about your professional background?

I changed careers shortly after my 3rd son was born in 2000 and re-trained as a child and adolescent Counsellor.  I then worked in a school in the UK before coming to Dubai and working as the School Counsellor here up until 2015.  I set up the School Counsellors network back in 2008 and am still actively involved in supporting and working with them.  I always ran workshops for parents in the schools that I worked in and these were very popular with both the parents and schools.  My training was child-centered and I also practiced both Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness work with the children and adolescents that I supported.  In addition, I am an EFT practitioner, NLP Master and qualified Hypnotherapist.  I bring all of my training and practical knowledge into the support I give to families.  I am also very interested in neuroscience and how using the up to date scientific information we now have can support our relationships with children.

What made you decide to set up Mindful Parenting?

Having spent over a decade working with families it became very apparent that there was a real lack of support for parents – other than medical or clinical interventions which is often not appropriate or relevant, there is very little up to date, hands on, practical education.   I wanted to offer parents affordable, science based education that incorporates the skills of building relationships, coaching and emotional intelligence.  I wanted to offer the type of support I wish I’d had as both a new parent and during the different stages of my children’s lives and development.

Can you describe the different workshops that you have?

I offer workshops for parents of children from birth up to teenagers.  These are split into developmental stages so that we can focus on the skills and strategies that are appropriate for each age group and also have common threads and an ethos that runs through all of them.  “Enjoy Your Baby” is the only workshop which is aimed specifically at mums and focuses on the first year of a child’s life, the significant changes that we experience as a mum, providing us with practical strategies taught in a supportive environment.  We then move on to Workshops for Parents of Toddlers (Age 1-3yrs), Parents of Younger Children (Age 4-8yrs), Parents of Pre-Teens (Age 9-12yrs) and Parents of Teens (Age 13+).  I generally recommend that parents attend the workshop appropriate for their eldest child as I find this to be the most helpful to them.  I also offer a ‘Sibling Rivalry’ Workshop for parents and this is a follow on for any parent who has attended a previous Mindful Parenting Workshop.

Can you describe typical scenarios that would inspire a mum to sign up to one of your workshops?  Is it just for mums who are fed up/exhausted/curious?

Mums and Dads are inspired to sign up for many different reasons, it could be a specific challenge they are facing e.g. behavior, developmental stage, new baby, change in family situation etc.  Many parents choose to attend in order to simply learn more about their children or for self-development or in preparation for an age that they haven’t experienced before.

How many other parents are there in each session?

The maximum number of parents in any workshop is 12, however most workshops are usually between 8-10 so it is a small, very supportive and non-judgmental environment in which to learn.

Do you also offer private consultations?  Who would this be suitable for?

Yes, I do also offer private consultations and these can either be held at your home or at my office in Media City.  These can be suitable for anyone, many parents choose to book a private session to get some immediate help if they are waiting for a workshop to begin, some parents who travel or work away a lot choose them to fit in with their schedule and others choose them to focus on one specific issue that is of immediate concern.

From your workshops and consultations what do you hope each parent will walk away with?

Every parent sets their own goal at the beginning of the workshops so I really hope that they achieve these.  In addition, I hope that they will feel more supported, empowered and knowledgeable about the parent they want to be as well as having the skills and strategies to achieve this.

Where do most of your courses take place, and how do parents sign up?

My courses are currently running in Media City and I am being supported by my good friend Rehana at Babies & Beyond who provides me with a lovely room to host my workshops.  It’s a great, central location with plenty of parking and amazing views!

What are your personal thoughts on time out?

Time out can be a very effective strategy for adults and parents to utilize themselves if they need space to calm down and think what to do next.  Young children, and particularly those below the age of 5, don’t have the capacity to think logically about their behavior, what they did wrong, why and what to do next time.  In order to teach children, the most effective strategies are based in neuroscience and involve us using our fully formed adult brain to connect with our child and help them to calm down so we can then teach whatever we want to teach – usually these are boundaries.  Time out used with children is ineffective as it breaks this connection and therefore misses an opportunity to teach.

When parents recognize certain negative behaviors in their children who might be 9 years old or 16 years old, is there still time to put things right? What suggestions do you have as a starting point?

It’s never too late to change and we know that the brain continues to learn and make connections up to until the day we die.  The starting point is to connect to our child, educate ourselves to understand where our child is developmentally so we can use appropriate strategies to teach them in the way that is most effective for them.   In order to connect, we need to be able to manage our own emotions and stay calm, this allows us to use our logical brain to calm the situation down rather than respond merely with emotion which may inflame the situation.

What are three personal family values that you hope to instill in your three boys?

Integrity, gratitude and compassion are my key values, which means my role is to focus on living by and using these values in my own life as well as in my interactions with them and others.

What is your greatest fear as a mother?

Part of being a mindful parent is learning to recognise our emotions whilst not being overwhelmed by them.  I have often noticed how having children raised my anxiety levels, I also notice that making decisions when I’m anxious is not very useful for me or my children!  I aim to parent from a place of hope and curiosity rather than fear and I believe this has been a positive experience for both my children and myself.

For mothers struggling with two or three children between 4 – 7 years old, can you give them 1 tip to survive the day? 

I remember being this mother and it can be challenging both emotionally and physically – my 1 tip would be to constantly remind yourself that you are a good enough mum and a good enough mum makes mistakes sometimes and learns from them, apologises when she needs to, asks for help when she needs to and takes care of herself as well as her children.

What three things did you learn about yourself when raising your boys?

That I struggle on a lack of sleep!  I learnt that even though I didn’t really know how to be the mum I wanted to be, I could learn how to do it and learning on the job is often the best way.  I also learnt that I didn’t have very effective self-calming or self-soothing strategies so I picked some that I thought would work for me and practiced them every day until they became a natural part of my life – mindfulness really helped me to do this which is why I have incorporated it into my daily life. I also learn that connection was the key to everything – sorry is that more than 3!

 What do you personally like to do as a family?

We love to travel, to cook together, to have pets in the house, to play cards, to talk, to visit nature and watch animals wherever and whenever possible, to learn new things and to always watch Star Wars films as a family!

Favourite holiday destination as a family.

That’s a difficult one as we really have 2 – South Africa, to see the animals and The Maldives to snorkel and dive – again with animals!

For more information www.mindfulparentinguae.net

Dates for next courses click here

Motherhood| Donna Benton, Founder of The Entertainer talks to us about her new salon venture named after her daughter Chloe.

Donna Benton is the Founder and Chairman of the Entertainer.  She has lived in Dubai for 16 years and considers it home.  She is mum of two, Chloe, aged 6 and Jack, aged 3. Donna has an amazing reputation in Dubai as a businesswoman and philantropist, often described by many as down-to-earth, relatable, and she never stops giving back to communities.  Her team sing her praises as she exercises a leadership role that incorporates support, development, understanding and compassion, and her team are inspired and loyal to her as a result.  We are so grateful that Donna has taken time to talk to us about motherhood, business, and her new venture named after her first born, Chloe’s Beauty Hair and Nails.

Congratulations on the success of the Entertainer expanding internationally – what do you think are your key ingredients for its success?

Thank you.  It’s hard to believe that the Entertainer is now in 15 countries globally and that since launching the App in 2013 we’re now almost 100% digital.  I think a large part of the success is due to the fact that we’ve always stuck to the same business model – our offers are always buy one get one free and they’re valid 7 days a week (excluding public holidays). For this reason, it’s not always been easy to convince merchants to participate. But from the start I knew it was important to keep the offers consistent and ensure that they had as few restrictions as possible. So that when people buy the Entertainer they know what to expect and they also know that they’re going to get good quality offers and substantial savings.  These days, the App brings the offers to people with even more added bonuses and convenience.  We’re continually making improvements and launching new functions, sometimes even in direct response to customer requests. For example, last month we launched a delivery category, which lists all of the restaurants in Dubai offering buy one get one free on home delivery – something our customers had been asking for.

What made you decide to create Chloe’s Beauty, Hair & Nails?

Through the years I’ve enjoyed working with the spas and salons in the Entertainer Body and it’s an area I’ve always been interested in. Having been in Dubai for 16 years I’ve had my fair share of beauty treatments, but since having children the visits had started to become less frequent.  I realised that it was because salons tend to open quite late in the morning – in fact they open about 2 to 3 hours after school drop-off.  Plus when you’re working full-time it can be hard to find the time – even without children. I famously installed a salon in the Entertainer office a few years ago so that my employees can have treatments during the work day.  So I decided to launch my own salon to address these inconveniences – and of course it’s called Chloe’s after my daughter.

What is the concept of Chloe’s Beauty, Hair and Nails?

I wanted to create a convenient and affordable beauty haven that works for all the different groups of women in Dubai. We’re open from 7am – 9pm on weekdays (9am – 9pm on weekends) so you can book an appointment at a time that suits you perfectly – before work, after school drop-off, during your lunch break and even after the kids have gone to bed. We also have a kid’s treatment area so, even more conveniently, you can bring your kids with you and relax knowing that they’re being looked after. We have a private VIP room, which allows groups of up to 4 guests to enjoy their treatments together and is perfect for wedding party preparations, a girls’ get together, hen night or birthday celebrations.  It also allows for people who just want a bit more privacy. Finally the prices are very reasonable – I want people to feel like they can afford to have regular treatments and leave feeling pampered and relaxed rather than worrying about what they just spent.

How quickly can a mum on the run do her manicure and pedicure plus have a blowdry? (on average)?

Depending on the length of your hair, we can have you pampered and preened in about 45 mins to an hour.  If you’re pressed for time it’s best to let the girls know and they will make sure you’re finished in time.

The team are trained to be extremely timely and efficient. Plus if you’re really stretched for time, we offer express services – for example you can have an Express Manicure for just 30dhs and in less than 20 minutes you will have clean and tidy nails as well as a polish change.  It’s actually the perfect place to have a one-to-one meeting, which I do with my team on a regular basis.

How much time do you have for yourself as a working mother?  How do you ensure you carve that out for yourself?

I’m a firm believer that a happy family needs a happy mum.  It’s really so important to take time out for yourself.  For me, I prioritise exercising as that makes me feel great.  I tend to start each morning with a run on the beach – I’m often joined by one of my girlfriends and I find it the best way to clear my head and get ready for the day.  I’m also fortunate enough to have a great support team around me and the children. I’d never underestimate the importance of a great nanny!

How do you balance your time with the family and work?

I’m very organised and I do plan ahead, but balance doesn’t necessarily mean sticking to a rigid schedule – it’s actually more important to be flexible. So some days I might take the afternoon off to do something with the kids and then catch up on work in the evening after they’re in bed. Also I don’t feel guilty about being a working mum. I think it’s a great life lesson for my kids to see how hard I work and that they enjoy the life they do because of what I do. My parents instilled a fantastic work ethic in me and I hope that I pass that onto my children.

You are a role model to many other mums and women out there, who is your personal role model?

Motherhood is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding, jobs in the world.  There’s no formula to being a perfect mother, everyone has their own style and can be brilliant at it.  So anyone with happy, thriving children should be an inspiration to others.  My mum is a great role model for me. She provided me and my sister with unwavering love and affection and always taught us to treat people how we would like to be treated ourselves.  She’s been a constant support in my life and I hope that I have the same close relationship with my children that I have with my mum.

What three pieces of advice can you give to mums with young children wanting to start up a business of their own?

You’re going to have to be brave! If you have a good idea for a business, but you’re always putting off taking that leap into the unknown, don’t be afraid to take some risks and put your fears to one side.

Starting your own business definitely isn’t easy and don’t underestimate the work ethic and belief in the product that you need.

Remember, you can love what you do, but if the figures don’t add up, it’s a hobby and not a business.

What is the best advice you have been given?

My grandmother played a big part in my childhood and I always remember her saying “always save your money for a rainy day” and thank goodness I listened to her.  If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have had the $3,000 in my savings account that I used to start the Entertainer when the job that I’d moved to Dubai for didn’t work out!

What do you hope to instill in Chloe and Jack when they grow up?

Impeccable manners, compassion and a strong work ethic.

What is your greatest fear as a mother for your children?

The most important thing is good health, that’s really all you need in life.

It is well-known that you are incredibly compassionate when it comes to helping others around you as well as under-privileged children, what is your philosophy behind this?

We didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up and now I’m fortunate to live a very comfortable lifestyle.  I can afford to help others and therefore I do, it’s that simple. We have a villa in Thailand and I support a local school there as well as an orphanage.  We visit them each time we’re in Phuket to give the children new toys and donations we’ve collected. We’ve just installed a new playground in the school and it’s great to see the kids having so much fun.

Your favourite holiday destination?

Phuket – it’s our ultimate holiday destination and having a villa of our own means that it’s pretty much an open house, so we always have friends and family come and join us for part of our holiday.  Being amongst my friends and family is the best relaxation for me.

Favourite online website for shopping?

I don’t tend to shop online, does that sound very old fashioned?  The options here in Dubai are fairly limited. In fact, I don’t tend to shop much at all.  I probably do one big shopping spree a year and it’s usually when I’m home in Australia or in the States.

Happiness is….

Smiling children.

Chloe’s Beauty, Hair and Nails is located on Jumeirah Beach Road, Shop 5, next to BurgerFuel, Opposite Saga World. 

Tel: 04 388 4884

www.chloesuae.com