It has taken me a long time to figure out that I can’t do motherhood on my own. There are many moments I catch myself doing it on my own strength and that’s when problems start.
I found God around 12 years ago. It has been a relationship that has grown over time, and I am certainly still not where I want to be or I will probably never get to that point.
Raising 4 children and being a wife who works part-time makes it difficult of me to juggle everything. I often feel I do a lot of jobs badly. As the old adage say, jack of all trades but master of none. It is easy to succumb to the stress of daily life. All mums face it. You can worry just about everything. Am I giving my children enough time? Am I screwing them up? Have I disciplined them? Do they hold the right values? Are they at the right school? Are their friends good influences? Do they have the right teacher? Do we have the finances to provide? And so the list goes on.
Without God, I would be in a constant state of panic. I have to trust Him that he blessed me with these four children that he is at the steering wheel taking charge of their everyday and their future. Whilst I do what I can, He is ultimately in control. I seek my rest in Him.
God works best when we are at our weakest. We are not, I am certainly not, a super woman. I have seen God take many of my weaknesses and used His strength to achieve his will. Over and over again He has also taken care of many impossible situations over the years. All the while, I felt His peace. A life with God does not mean that there will not be troubles ahead but when you walk closely with God, but it is amazing to see that you can face every situation with a strong sense of peace.
A well-known pastor in the UK, from Holy Trinity Brompton, Nicky Gumbel, shared something. He said that he kept a pray journal. Looking back at his prayer journals over the years, he has seen that God has answered all his prayers on God’s perfect timing. Too many coincidences, you might say. or we can conclude that God exist and He does listen. I can also testify the same.
Matthew 19:26 says ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’
When I first started my walk with God, my mother, gave me Psalm 23 to say everyday. Now every word rings true and it gives me comfort when facing life’s adversities. I really recommended saying this every night with your children even.
Back in March, I felt totally overwhelmed and I let the huge waves of issues and challenges overcome me. I was exhausted and broken. I realised when it was already too late that I was trying to take charge of everything again, controlling everything in my life for fear of not doing enough and I felt I burnt out. Then over the Easter holidays, I took some time to reflect on what I had done, and spent time with God and my children.
During the last few weeks, I felt God minister to me that I put myself, yet again, in the driver’s seat, trying to steer myself through the rough seas of motherhood and everything else. I have taken my foot off the accelerator and I am now waiting on Him.
He told me and he sent a message via family and friends around me that my children are my ministry. That’s the only job He has asked me to do. Then, if that is the case, then I must obey.
I realised that Jesus has ordered our steps. First comes God, then our husbands and then our children. I certainly find more peace when I stay true to these priorities. God has always said that He would never leave us nor forsake us.
I am blessed to have found a church that has helped my children develop their love and passion for God. As a family we pray together and trust God to keep us close and to always have His hand upon us.
Don’t let fear ruin your precious moments with your children. Let God take care of it all.
I would be the first to say that I am not the perfect Christian or the perfect mother. I have faced many challenges but I am also on a journey of faith and hope that God will change me slowly everyday with his refining fire.