I have heard of a friend of a friend who has been complaining about the lack of a sparkler on her left ring finger. Because she is neither engaged nor married (being bad enough), her partner promised to give her one upon the birth of their first child… er, second child…. After a while, with her being rather disappointed in him and he somewhat fed up with her nagging about the ring, he decided instead to transfer a considerable amount of money into her bank account. It didn’t take very long at all for her to walk in and out of a Tiffany store and then post a photo on Facebook, showing that she had finally got her ring. No romance involved, just a financial transaction so she could acquire her new ‘best friend’.

Another friend once told me that she would only accept a Tiffany solitaire diamond ring when her future husband would ‘get down on one knee’. At that time, she didn’t have a boyfriend but it was clear that whoever did come along would need to be a clever (or at least wealthy) boy. In time, a suitable fellow arrived, the question was asked and – crucially – out came the green box that she had been waiting for for so long. I doubt that it all was entirely down to his own initiative.

Another story: American girl meets European boy. He gets her parents’ approval and vice versa. He decides to take the plunge and proposes with a diamond ring; she says “yes”. They both share the happy news with her friends, who upon inspecting her left hand say, “Ohhh, how cute”. He went for European style, apparently, which for people (like me) who need a translation, means: “Ohhh, can someone please hand me my glasses because I cannot see the stone”.

Ok, one more. All true stories, I promise.

A boy goes out of his way to get an engagement ring. Now even though he did spend the ‘common’ (or so I’m told) amount of three months salary on it, and she said “yes”, they went back to the jeweler together to exchange the ring for the one she really loved.

So, there you have it boys! No big deal, just some basic pointers as to how girls can be when it comes to engagement rings.

Given the tales above, it seems that for a guy the choosing of the ring could, perhaps, be more of a commitment than the choosing of the girl. Not in the least if we believe what we see on TV or in Hollywood movies – that he will drop down on one knee and she will start screaming upon seeing her reflection in the diamond sparkling up at her. Friends will sigh and say, “what a rock”, to which she will modestly chuckle.

But if that is not the case, will she say no? Did anyone ever say “no” to a proposal because the ring wasn’t right?

Not all married woman have a diamond and not all diamonds are from Tiffany’s. Although the products of this worldwide store are known for their high quality when it comes to the  4 c’s (carat, cut, color and clarity – which is how you rate a diamond), it does not mean that this is the only way to get a girl to say “yes”. Some questions are ‘popped’ with key ring holders or soda-can tops, others with a ring from the local fair.  It’s also worth remembering that diamonds may not be a particularly ethical choice (think ‘blood diamonds’…).

Let’s just hope that love is stronger then the value of the ring in the box. After all, it’s only really a result of one of the best marketing campaign ever to make such a big deal out of the expense. Many (well-known) jewelry stores happily lead insecure would-be proposers from their 0,25 carat section to the ‘real deal’ room with phrases like “it’s an investment”, “a once in a lifetime event” and, of their intended, “she must be really special”.

So, to all of you out there who are hoping to get married, here are two very important things to remember. One, a proposal is about the question and the person asking it. And two, don’t let any jewelry store salespeople persuade you to take out an extra mortgage. If it’s love, the answer should be “yes” no matter what the poor boy (or girl) is offering you…